Dear Gm!

Gm, Help me! My long time friend
is getting a boyfriend, and it's not
the first time. I think she's too
young and too childish to be in a
relationship 'cause she's only 13!

Help!

- oreO

==================================


Dear oreO,

Sana di ka talaga oreo na pwede i-twist it, lick it
and dunk it. (mmmm sarap!) About your friend,
tell her not to rush things. But you can't tell her
what to do. Better yet, bantayan mo mo sila, kasi
pag may milagrong mangyayari, di ka na kasali...
(awww, sayang). Bottom line: take care na lang of
your friend. I'm sure, walang matinong mangyayari
sa buhay nun.

=Grandmaster

Dear Grandmaster,

Ikaw ba yan nasa picture?
Ang yabang mo magsalita pero
ang ganyan looks mo!!

-jimbo

==================================

Dear jimbo,

first of all, drawing lang yan.

lastly, putang-ina mo!

yun lang.

=Grandmaster

Dear GM,

I'm what you call a honest and decent
boyfriend. I'm faithful to my girl. Though,
I may not be that understanding nor
give her much of my time to her, I really
can't miss out on my anime shows. I always
give what I can for our relationship. Now,
what I want to ask you is that, "baket di
ako babaero?"

Hoping to be enlightened.

-e.coLi

==================================

Dear e.coLi,

Ang labo mo. Sobra. Nung nabasa ko 'to, I
Remembered yun joke na may taong sumisigaw
sa may padlock ng gate nile dahil daw ang sabi sa
padlock ay "Yale". Sigaw naman siya ng sigaw ang
gago. anyway, kaya ka hinde babaero ay sa dahilang
nanlalalake ka. If i know type mo yung mga lalakeng
napapanood mo sa animax. Naruto at sasuke?!
Capt. Tsubading?! Full Beaded Alchemist!? Haha.
Masasabi ko lang: Mag-ingat.

=Lovingly yours,
Grandmaster

Dear Grandmaster,

How do i tell a girl she irritates
me. I don't like her and I want her
off my back.

-Rheinhart

==================================

Dear Rheinhart,

Why do you want her off your back? is she too
heavy for you to carry her in your back? If you
really can't stand her, it's better to move away
from her. If i were you, (which you're not), I
wouldn't allow myslef to be bother by such low life.
Try telling her, masakit mag piggy back.
That should get her off your back.

-Grandmaster

Dear Grandmaster,

Hey GM! A boy is crushing
on me but I don't like him. I
fancy his youger brother instead.
What do i do?

-Heartuchi 15

==================================

Dear Heartuchi

In the first place: what a name!!
"Heartuchi," pang bading sa kalye
yun ah! In second place: mahilig
ka pala sa bata. Pedophile ka.
pareho tayo. Hehehe. Ganito, let
the elder brother down gently, so
as not to hurt him. Tapos yun,
tirahin mo yun kapatid nya.

Okay ba?

=Grandmaster

Dear Grandmaster,

greetings!

I'm a natural born skeptic and this
question pesters me: where did imperfection
come from? How can we say that a being is
ugly or unattractive?

-stalker


==================================

Dear stalker,

Eto, seryoso 'to.
Imperfection came from those strive for perfection,
natural na manggaling ang imperfection sa mga gustong
maging perpekto, kasi ngaimperfect sila. Wala naman
talagang taong perfect, kasi each individual is unique.

We cannot say that one is ugly or unattractive cause
we base it on our own criteria but if based on others'.
One might judge you for your character, abilities, looks
or your traits.

In plain words:

kanya-kanyang basehan yan!

Gets?

=Grandmaster

p.s. wag pumatol sa bata....

To my dear readers/vistors,

I apologize for the lack of updates or delays in the issues
that were supposed to be published in the past few weeks.
I would like to thank Bayantel for cutting my Dsl line.
Sana maKonsenya kayo dahil pinutol nyo ang kaligayahan
ko, at syempre ng aking mga readers. Pasensya na rin po
kasi, i'm busy with my summer classes. Hectic ang schedule
ko, kaya i find it difficut to blog. jsut keep on reading and
tag kayo!

==================================
Got a problem?? better you than me.

write to me at: thegrandmasterhelp@gmail.com

=GrandMaster

Volume 3/03/06

Dear Grandmaster,

I've heard about so much about you,
people have come to you with their
problems or questions that have been
bugging them and you reply with these
messages. How insensitive of you!
Anyway, how do I deal with a suitor
who does not confrim that he's
courting na pala?

Regards,
Tina, P.On.

==================================

Dear Tina,

I'm flattered that you've heard about me.

Shet, sikat na pala ako.

About your dilemma, you should try
telling him to speak in a language that you
speak-- ay, sorry, oo nga napaka-insensitive ko, sorry,
sabihin mo sa kanya na makipagusap sayo sa lenguahe mo.
nag pipilit ka pa magenglish dyan e.

-Grandmaster

---------------------------------------------
Hail Grandmaster!

I happen to stumble upon your
blog err.. website and I found
it so interesting! kKeep up the
good err... I mean bad work!
By the way, how do I tell my
girlfriend that she has badbreath?
You know... In a way that she
wouldn't be offended.

Thanks a lot!


Garry, 19, Bel Air

=================================

Hi Garry,

Naks naman! may hail pa! nakakataba naman ng
puso ang iyong comment. Pasensya na, nagdidiet
ako. May Speech Defect ka ba? Hangang sa pagttype
ay meron ka...(errr..)Sip-sip ka naman, kaka-umpisa
ko lang mag-publish, meron na kagad. By any chance
girlfriend mo ba si "nina" ng pbb teen edition? Just asking.

About your problem, always offer her some mint or
candy, so keep a stock aof candies or breath mints
in your pocket.>>
Preferably those Listerine Mouthpacks.
After that, better give her a supply, more like a gift basket
which contains the ff:
toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, toothbrushes,
tongue brush, & mints.

Malay mo, may shortage pala sila pang oral hygiene.

That should give her the idea that she stinks.

=GrandMaster


-------------------------------------------------------
I have been blogging since march 2006. I transferred from blogdrive .

Volume 03/01/06


Dear Grandmaster,
How many calories are
there in the average male
ejaculation?

- Chuck, Under the Sea

--------------------------------

Dear Chuckie,

Am I a freakin' science
book to answer that?!
I know this is the help
section but you're
pushing it. But anyway,
the answer is that it is
the same as that of a
raw egg white. There.
Happy?



========================================

Dear Grandmaster,

I'm the captain of the volleyball
varsity team and has always been seen
as just that: an athlete. I realized
that I'm not passionate about or wasn't
exceptional at anything aside from
volleyball and it's beginning to affect
me. I'm bored with this one dimensional
personality.

-Capt., DLSU

------------------------------------------


Dear Capt.,

What? You're bored playing with balls?!
You're so lucky to play with a nice
set of balls. I mean, volleyballs. You should
try giving more time to other
things and to try new things, such as other
kinds of balls.

Play nice.

= GrandMaster

================================

Dear GrandMaster,

I've had admirers but never
boyfriends, and I don't
know why. Friends say I'm
cool. I do ok interacting
with the opposite sex but
somehow no relationship
happens. Am I just a friend
material?

- Dhai, CEU
==================================================================
Dear Dhai,

I think you should start
shaving your body hair.
Most boys do not like
hairy girls with just one
eyebrow. And try to
look like a girl so they
can identify you as such.
Please refer to the Swan
or to Queer Eye for the
Straight Girl.

Good luck!

= GrandMaster

Introducing...


Tired of being unheard?

Ever needed to someone to talk to?

Got a problem?

Someone to ask for advice or answers?


Well, the long wait is over!


I, GrandMaster_Hokage, will answer your questions, problems, dilemmas, predicament, issues, and troubles. Just don't count on me about helping you financially.

What I want you to do is write up and send it to my email at :

thegrandmasterhelp@gmail.com

Your emails wil be answered as soon as possible.

So, go on, write up...

Better you than me.